Kissing and Crying
by Harmony'sSake
Summary: Continuation of book four. What happens after Jesse kisses her.


1And then he kissed me. On the lips.

At first, I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything. I think that made Jesse nervous because he started pulling away. That's when I first reacted. I pulled him closer and kissed him harder than I've ever kissed anyone. It was amazing.

I was kissing the one boy I loved. Finally. His hands were on both sides of my face and my arms were wrapped around his neck. It was perfect. That is, until he realized what was happening that is.

His eyes flew wide open and he jumped back. Fast. It took me a moment to realize what had happened and by the time I did, Jesse was half-way across the room.

"Jesse-" I said.

He shook his head. "I'm really sorry, Susannah. I shouldn't have done that." Without even waiting to see how she reacted, Jesse dematerialized.

I was shocked. I actually thought Jesse had liked me. Ok, more than liked me actually the way he was kissing me. It had been amazing but now he was just...leaving me.

I didn't want to cry. I really didn't. I just couldn't help it. The boy of my dreams, and supposedly my only true love, had just given me the best kiss ever and then he'd left me. What kind of boy would do that? _A one hundred and fifty year old ghost_, I thought to myself.

I didn't know what else to do so I just sat down on my bed and cried. And cried. It felt like the whole world had ended. I don't know how long I lay there on my bed crying but I must have eventually fallen asleep because soon Doc, my younger brother, was knocking on my door, telling me it was time for dinner.

It took everything I had to get out of bed and wipe away every sign on tears from my face but I did. I'm pretty sure Doc knew what was wrong though because he gave me this sympathetic look and it wasn't just because I looked like crap either.

Doc knew a lot of stuff that no one his age should know. One time, he gave my whole family a speech on condoms. That was hilarious and embarrassing all at the same time. Doc also knew about Jesse. Well, he did but he didn't know everything. Like, he didn't know that I was madly in love with Jesse or anything like that. He just knew Jesse existed.

Anyway, I finally made it down to dinner where everyone was waiting for me. Everyone meaning my mom, her new husband Andy, and Andy's 3 boys who I liked to called Sleepy, Dopey, and Doc. As usual, dinner was quite interesting. Andy is an amazing cook but his sons are slobs, especially Sleepy and Dopey. Sometimes, it's all I can do to keep from throwing up right at the table.

As soon as dinner was over, I went back up to my room since it was Dopey's turn to clear the table. When I walked into my room, I was half expecting to see Jesse sitting on my window seat, but, of course, he wasn't. I just sighed and went over to my bed. I would have to talk to him sometime but I knew he wouldn't come near me right now, not after what had just happened. Besides, if he came around, I would probably start scream and wake everyone in the house up which would cause me to have to explain some things I didn't want to explain. That was not a good idea.

The next morning I woke up to the bright sun shining through my window. Silently, I walked downstairs to find everyone already gone. There was a note on the table saying they had let me sleep in and that I didn't need to go to work. Good, I thought. I can try to talk to Jesse now.

Hurriedly, I walked up to my room. I called for Jesse and was just about to give up when he showed up.

"Jesse!" I said. I really hadn't expected him to show up. He looked at me hesitantly. "Why did you leave yesterday?"

"Susannah, I kissed you. Ghosts are not supposed to kiss Mediator. It just doesn't work. It wasn't right and I never should have done it." Jesse answered.

I looked at him. "Why did you kiss me then?"

"It was a mistake. I already said I was sorry and I shouldn't have done it."

"So it didn't mean anything?" I asked, fearing the answer.

Jesse looked at me, as hot as ever. He didn't answer and I knew what it meant. It hadn't meant anything. He didn't care about me.

"Get out, Jesse," I said. Before I could do anything else, Jesse dematerialized and was gone.

Just as I had before, I went to my bed and started crying. How could I have been so stupid? I thought he actually cared and he didn't. I'm just some girl living in the place he was shot. Whoopee!

Who knows how long I was laying there. I do know that it was a long time before I stopped crying.

"Susannah, what's wrong? Did something happen?" I jumped when I heard Jesse speak.

"What the hell do you want?" I yelled, the tears starting all over again.

"You called me, Susannah," Jesse said softly.

"No I didn't," I said and I hadn't. Wait, maybe I did. I had been saying his name over and over in my head. Maybe that's what he had heard.

"Querida, what's wrong?" Jesse said, coming towards me. He stopped a few before my bed, unsure what to do.

"Why would you care? It's not like I mean anything to you," I snapped.

"Of course I care, Susannah!"

"Do you? I'm pretty sure you said that kiss didn't mean anything even though it sure as hell felt like it did!" I yelled back.

"Querida, is that was this is about? That kiss?" I nodded.

Jesse looked unsure of himself for a moment. "What did you think that kiss meant?" he asked.

I thought for a moment. "Before you said anything, I thought it meant that you actually loved me and that maybe I could tell you how I really feel," I answered truthfully.

Jesse's eyebrows raised. "And how do you feel?" he asked softly.

"Like this," I said. I walked over to him and kissed him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Oh querida," Jesse said smiling against my lips. I smiled in return and deepened the kiss.


End file.
